My dearest Ratty,
How are you? Did you sleep well? I slept as I always do: fitfully, in bursts of REM, followed by tossing and turning and then, when all hope is lost, flipping open the laptop to see what’s going on out there. Or to ask Google age old questions like “do pudding knees mean the same as upper knee fat?” or “What happened to that little bitch who laughed at my metal heeled orthopedic shoes in grade 7?”
I’m talking about Google history, Ratty.
Sometimes I take a look at my Google history and I cannot believe the erudite person I have become. Look at that! Last nightI listened to three New Yorker podcasts and then I looked up Vladmir Nabokov’s wife and then his birthplace and then I went over to the Paris Review to read more about the man himself.
Other times, I am not so impressed. Jesus. I started with Awkward Family Photos, went over to Urban Dictionary, checked out Moustache Rides on Google Images and from there spent an awful lot of time checking out celebrity moms who are hotter than their daughters.
What does your Google history say about you? If you were to show me the last ten things you Googled would I be shocked, delighted or would I just nod my head and smile thinking, yup, that is so Ratty!
Do let me know!
My computer, perhaps in anticipation of this question, completely died last week and I lost a big chunk of my search history. Some of this stuff is from devices I don’t search on all that often which, I think, is kind of more interesting. At least for me. Here are ten things I’ve typed into Google:
– Megan Wollover: Tracy Morgan’s wife. I wanted to know what she did for a living but I got as far as her Twitter bio and just lost interest.
– Joan Didion Céline: I don’t think I’ve read more about someone that I haven’t read anything by than Joan Didion. I wanted to read more about her shilling for Céline (and yes I had to look up what “Céline” was as well).
– Gericault Medusa: A painting of a bunch of people on a raft lost at sea. I was semi-obsessed with rafts for awhile which is a weird thing to admit. I think it’s probably the third most terrifying form of aquatic transportation for me. Right behind ‘log flume’ and ‘shark’.
– bear cub bites students: Take THAT students!
– help meowt here: This is the name of a quest in a video game that I was playing. A cat needed my help but I didn’t understand what it was saying, all meow’s. Rather than work it out on my own I cheated and found the answer online. The trick was to wear my cat ear headband. I am 37 years old.
– Baby has a cold: She did!
– Yaoi: I was researching romance subgenres for something I’m going to write for the blog and this popped up as one of them. Apparently Yaoi is a genre of Japanese manga featuring romantic relationships between male characters but its not considered gay (there’s another name for that: “Bara”). This Yaoi stuff is actually written for, and by, women. I did a Google Image search and it was a lot of cartoon men kissing and/or sharing popsicles.
– Writing a cheque with cents: I forgot how.
– autorganizzatti in english: Means ‘self organized’, I have no clue why I looked this up. I am not autorganizzatti, and obviously I don’t read Italian, so I’m guessing either a robber broke in and did some searches or I have a very bad memory.
– How to access search history Chrome: CTRL + H.