The Intangibles: Week One – San Francisco 49ers vs. Minnesota Vikings

Each week Ratty will ask Mole, an admitted football neophyte, to tell you who to put your money on based entirely on: team colors, team locations, who would win in a battle between the team names (i.e. could a Dolphin beat a Bear?) AND a bonus intangible. This week it’s the San Francisco 49ers vs. the Minnesota Vikings.

Red & Gold (SF) vs. Purple & Yellow (MN): Purple and Yellow feels too churchy, so I’m going for Red and Gold

Viking vs. 49er: I like Vikings because of the whole Blood eagle thing

San Francisco vs. Minneapolis/St. Paul: Hmm, I like Minneapolis because it reminds me of Mary Tyler Moore

!BONUS!

You work at an organization that brands pro athletes and you have been given the choice between Minnesota quarterback Theodore Edmond Bridgewater and San Francisco tight end Xavier Grimble. Your first order of business will be to provide your client with a really really cool nickname. Which of the two do you pick and what is the nickname?:

Okay, I TOTALLY pick Xavier Grimble! He sounds like a character from David Copperfield.

“Evening Mr. Micawber.”

“Evening Grimble”

“Will you look in on the Mrs. when I’m in the nick?”

“Of course, Micawber”

“Top man, Grimble”

And as for nickname? I’m torn between Grimble Grumble, the Tall Guy or The Xman Cometh. I guess I could watch a clip of him being interviewed to see if he has any discerning idiosyncrasies, but sports exhausts me, and next thing you know I look him up, and then all this football stuff comes up on my YouTube list. I’ve curated it so that it’s a nice balance between Andy Gibb and Gordon Ramsay.

So, I’ll just ask you to choose.

[Ratty: I like “Grimble Grumble”, sounds like a Dick Tracy villain]

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