Each week Ratty will ask Mole, an admitted football neophyte, to tell you who to put your money on based entirely on: team colors, team locations, who would win in a battle between the team names (i.e. could a Dolphin beat a Bear?) AND a bonus intangible. This week it’s the New York Jets vs. Indianapolis Colts.
Green & White (NY) vs. White & Blue (IND): Man, those colour combinations are insipid. I have more green clothes in my closet than blue ones, so I’m going to go with green and white.
Jet vs. Colt: Hmmm, this is interesting. I like Jet because it reminds me of Jet magazine. I remember reading it in the late 80s when I visited NYC. I also like the idea of jet packs, so, yes Jet for the win.
New York City vs. Indianapolis: Well it’s gotta be New York City. Indianapolis reminds me of the Indianapolis 500..BORING! and the state Indiana reminds me of Michael Jackson….DEPRESSING. So, I’m going with NYC.
New York City during a garbage strike vs. Indianapolis where you are independently wealthy and the weather is great because the mayor is an adorable hyper intelligent cat that has built a machine that controls the weather: I can’t do the midwest, too many flat vowel sounds. Noo Yawk City is my bonus choice.
WINNER: New York Jets