What do you think Ratty and Mole? Special 100th post edition!

Well, we did it. 100 posts! To celebrate we thought we’d answer 100 questions. Or rather 50 questions x 2. Some of the answers are the same though. Sorry not sorry.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Mole: 12

Ratty: 28

2. What do you always have with breakfast?

Mole: Coffee

Ratty: Almond milk

3. What is your favourite word that millennials use?

Mole: Surfbort

Ratty: Hundo

4. What is your least favourite word or phrase that millennials use?

Mole: Fleek

Ratty: Sorry not sorry

5. What is one of the weirdest things you used to do as a teenager?

Mole: Wear black patent leather pumps with tube socks

Ratty: Homework

6. What’s the best Disney movie?

Mole: Dumbo

Ratty: Pretty Woman

7. Art gallery or museum?

Mole: Art gallery

Ratty: Art gallery

8. What’s your favourite cheesy pick-up line?

Mole: Wanna make some money?

Ratty: How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, Hi I’m _____

9. At the beach would you rather play in the sand, or play in the water?

Mole: Water

Ratty: Water. Why would I go all the way to the beach to play in the sand?

10. What bores you?

Mole: Monologues disguised as conversation

Ratty: PLAYING IN THE SAND!

11. Would you rather ski or snowshoe?

Mole: Snowshoe

Ratty: Snowshoe

12. Would you rather tap or softshoe

Mole: Tap

Ratty: Softshoe

13. Who is your hero?

Mole: Ratty

Ratty: Mole

14. What makes you angry?

Mole: Bullies

Ratty: Jerks

15. What is your proudest accomplishment?

Mole: My very long epistolary friendship with a certain Mrs. F. Wilson

Ratty: Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. I’m guessing, I haven’t done it yet.

16. What would you sing for Karaoke?

Mole: “I’ve never been to me” (just the speaking part) by Charlene

Ratty: “Time after time” by Cyndi Lauper

17. Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house?

Mole: Mow the lawn with one of those old timey mowers

Ratty: Wash dishes

18. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?

Mole: 1979

Ratty: 1978

19. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

Mole: Miranda July

Ratty: Leonardo DiCaprio (although I’d settle for Skeet Ulrich)

20. What kitchen appliance do you use every day?

Mole: Coffee grinder

Ratty: Spoon

21. What was your first job?

Mole: Stepin Fetchit

Ratty: I was in mobile ice cream sales, I’m not sure what the job title would be

22. What’s your favourite season in Toronto?

Mole: Late summer

Ratty: Sprummer

23. What are three words to describe living in Toronto?

Mole: Really fucking expensive

Ratty: THE RENT IS

24. What are three words to describe living in your apartment building?

Mole: Sketch, g’tto, Bukowski-esque

Ratty: TOO DAMN HIGH!

25. What’s your favourite movie?

Mole: Annie Hall

Ratty: The Big Lebowski or The Breakfast Club

26. What’s your favourite scene from your favourite movie?

Mole: From Annie Hall, Alvy and Annie in line to see The Sorrow and the Pity

Ratty: All of it

27. What’s your favourite food?

Mole: Spaghetti and meatballs

Ratty: Sea buckthorn clafouti

28. What food do you hate?

Mole: Mushrooms

Ratty: Brussels sprouts

29. What do you love on your pizza?

Mole: Anchovies

Ratty: Toppings

30. What’s your favourite drink?

Mole: Tie – Crystal Light (strawberry banana flavour) or any red wine from Chile

Ratty: Tea

31. If your life were a style of music what would the genre be?

Mole: Opera

Ratty: Swedish reggae

32. What’s the name of your autobiography?

Mole: Everybody, especially me

Ratty: Swedish reggae

33. Bird watching or whale watching?

Mole: Whale

Ratty: Bird

34. What’s your spirit animal?

Mole: Mole

Ratty: Rat

35. How do you like your coffee?

Mole: Strong, black and sweet (just like…nobody I know personally)

Ratty: Grande decaf hazelnut latte

36. What’s your favourite shade of blue?

Mole: Cerulean

Ratty: Lapis lazuli

37. What’s your favourite shade of grey?

Mole: Jennifer (before the nose job)

Ratty: Christian

38. Best way to decompress?

Mole: Singalong at the Cameron House

Ratty: A hyperbaric recompression chamber (really the ONLY way to decompress safely)

39. Most annoying sound in the morning?

Mole: Screeching cat

Ratty: The clarion crow of a cockerel

40. Most annoying sound in the afternoon?

Mole: Cubicle culture chit chat:
Stooge 1: “Hey look at us! We’re both wearing blue!”
Stooge 2: “I know! Twins!”
Stooge 1: “What about you, Mole? I guess you didn’t get the memo?!”
Mole: “I guess not.”
[uproarious laughter]

Ratty: The clarion crow of a confused cockerel

41. Most annoying sound in the evening?

Mole: Other people having fun when I’m trying to sleep

Ratty: Snoring

42. What hobby have you quit?

Mole: Worshiping Andy Gibb. (I still love the man, just not as feverishly)

Ratty: Giving a fuck

43. If you were a hiphop artist what would your stage name be?

Mole: Mole (pronounced like the sauce not the animal)

Ratty: MC Escher

44. If you were an aging burlesque artist what would your stage name be?

Mole: Virginia Ham

Ratty: Stretch Mark

45. If you were a frazzled kindergarten teacher what would your name be?

Mole: Penelope Hazard

Ratty: I.B. Frazzled

46. What are your favourite lyrics to any song?

Mole: Keep your electric eye on me babe / Put your ray gun to my head
Press your space face close to mine, love / Freak out in a moonage daydream oh yeah!

Ratty: “Better Brother / Sister” by Rilo Kiley

47. What instrument would you like to play for an experimental band?

Mole: Air guitar

Ratty: Bunsen burner

48. What time did you go to sleep last night?

Mole: 9:45 ish, then 2:00 a.m. ish

Ratty: 9:00 then 11:35 then 3:something

49. What bad habit are you unlikely to give up?

Mole: Listening to Judge Judy while I drift off to sleep

Ratty: Cookies

50. What is your catchphrase?

Mole: THE WORST

Ratty: Cookies!

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