My dearest Ratty,
Sorry I haven’t been around much. I have recently moved and it is as horrible as everybody says. It is just one of those dependably horrible things, like going to the dentist or writing a cover letter or looking up “teratomas” under Google Images.
This time, however, I thought, things are going to be different. I am going to pare down. I am moving into a well kept bachelor apartment in a well appointed part of town. It is so white and small. It’s too pristine for clutter. So I padded around my beautiful, perfect, tiny apartment, and, to taking inspiration from Ving Rhames as Marsellus Wallace I whispered into the walls: “I’m gonna get minimalist on your ass”
Out went the solid oak credenza! Out went the sofa bed! Out went the standing floor lamps! Out went the book case! And on and on and on. What do I have now? A bed, a few books, a lamp, a table and a few more items. I guess I could say that I have joined the minimalist movement. I guess you could say that, although, I am somewhat loath to say that. It all seems a bit too trendy. Before the tiny home movement, I think we just had shacks and trailer parks, didn’t we? But somehow tiny home seems more posh and – shudder – certainly more hip.
I had a peek at Minimalissimo magazine and looked at empty spaces….with very little in them, a stone here, a bowl there. From what I gather, this is how rich people say, “I have this very expensive space and just one thing in it” I mean, look at this picture:
I don’t know what that’s supposed to be? I like to think it’s a minimalist playroom for children. I like some degree of minimalism in homes, but I fear anything called a movement. I just don’t want to belong to a club that would have someone like me or Groucho Marx as a member.
So, Ratty, have you ever met anyone who is so consumed by the minimalist movement that it isn’t just restricted to home design, but also conversation, dressing style and food?
Tell me about it Ratty, tell me all about it.