Netfleek: “Christian Mingle”

 

Mole: Here’s my Christian Mingle life lesson: It takes more than a boatload of washed up stars in a rom-com to turn trash into good campy fun. Christian Mingle is no Showgirls; it’s not even a Maury or Dancing with the Stars.  It’s a 90 minute ad that tells non-believers if you want to meet the man of your dreams (ummm…..a lobotomized Wally Beaver?) you gotta (a) give up your sushi-loving city slicker palate in favour of down-home steak and cake, (b) ditch your dishonest job in advertising,(c) head on down to Mexico,( no place in particular, just the vast open space of Mexico ) and spread the gospel to grateful swarthy children.  Does that sound like too much to catch a man? Well, you could always try witch dating. But take it from a retired dater, there will always be some fucking hoop to jump through.

Verdict: DOWNRIGHT SATANIC

Ratty: “I value them as a partner, but this is not a commercial for Christian Mingle. Does it show them in a good light? Sure, but this film is not – and it certainly doesn’t feel like – a big ad for Christian Mingle or anything.” – Corbin Bernsen, Director “Christian Mingle”
Hold up. I counted. There are literally THREE television advertisements for Christian Mingle during this movie. TVs happen to be on and they miraculously happen to be playing ads for Christian Mingle three times. That’s above and beyond the MANY times the business is mentioned in conversation and the fact the movie is fucking NAMED after the service that it is not a commercial for. It is the definition of a “big ad”. I’m not mad at the movie, I knew it would be hot trash going in. I guess I’m disappointed that Corby would bear false witness like this. I forgive him, I’m just disappointed.

Verdict: NETWEAK

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