Each week Ratty will ask Mole, an admitted football neophyte, to tell you who to put your money on based entirely on: team colors, team locations, who would win in a battle between the team names (i.e. could a Dolphin beat a Bear?) AND a bonus intangible. This week it’s the Tennessee Titans vs. Houston Texans.
Powder Blue & White (TEN) vs. Navy Blue & White (HOU): Navy Blue and White definitely. Powder blue is just the worst. Isn’t it? Say Powder Blue and the next word you’re mouthing is tuxedo. It’s just what follows. Houston Texans
Titan vs. Texan: Hmmm, both two syllable T words ending in “an”, tough choice, BUT, I choose Titan! Why? Because it reminds me of that classic movie from 1981: Clash of the Titans! Look at Harry Hamlin! Look at Pegasus! Tennessee Titans
Tennessee vs. Houston:
Well, there’s no contest. SPK is from Houston, so it’s gotta be Houston.
Apparently Tennessee chose the Titans for their name because one of Nashville’s nicknames is “the Athens of the South” due to its many educational institutions. Also, Titans were super strong god types that would probably have been good at football.
Using the Titan’s current roster please create some dope portmanteaus in the vein of Brangelina (R.I.P.) using the names of six football Titans and the six male Titans:
Oceanus / Quinton Spain = Spainus
Hyperion / Derrick Henry = Hype-Henry
Coeus / Ryan Succop = Succopus
Cronus / Jason McCourty = McCourtyus
Crius / Chance Warmack = Warrius
Iapetus / Philip Supernaw = Tussupernaw
WINNER: Hmmm, I enjoyed doing that. Nothing Moley loves more than putting together a good nickname. However, my choice for today is “We do NOT have a problem — Houston”