The Intangibles: Week Six – Los Angeles Rams vs. Detroit Lions

Each week Ratty will ask Mole, an admitted football neophyte, to tell you who to put your money on based entirely on: team colors, team locations, who would win in a battle between the team names (i.e. could a Dolphin beat a Bear?) AND a bonus intangible. This week it’s the Los Angeles Rams vs. Detroit Lions.

Yellow & Blue (LA) vs. Blue & Silver (DET): This one is EASY! Yellow and Blue, all the way! Why? My first – and only – Adidas track suit was blue and with yellow stripes. I’m proud to say it’s also the only track suit I’ve ever owned.  What I’m trying to say is,
this:
never happened to me, but it did happen to my parents in the 80s.
Los Angeles Rams

Ram vs. Lion: Lions are just a little bit too popular, right? I like the less heralded ram, those magnificent horns and the head butting. I barely wrinkled my nose at soccer until the Zidane headbutt.* Perfection! Los Angeles Rams

*I still don’t watch soccer, but I have watched that Zidane headbutt close to 100 times.

Los Angeles vs. Detroit: This is a tough one, but I’m going to go with Los Angeles, if only because I like the nicknames for it better. I am especially fond of “La-la-land” because it’s a nickname, but also a pretty good insult. “I’m here at home working, while you’re out there in la-la-land doing god knows what!” It also infers that people in Los Angeles have no concept of reality, like it’s a land of make-believe. I much prefer that idea to Detroit, or “The D” which seems to just serve up nothing but harsh reality. Los Angeles Rams

!BONUS!

This past summer the St. Louis Rams football team re-located (re-re-located actually) to Los Angeles. They chronicled the move on the HBO show “Hard Knocks”. William Hayes, a Rams’ Defensive End, caused a bit of a stir on the show…

“In a 2016 segment on HBO’s Hard Knocks, it was revealed that Hayes is a firm believer in mermaids. According to head coach, Jeff Fisher, he was excited at the prospect of the Rams’ move to Los Angeles as it would allow him to be closer to the ocean, improving his chances of encountering a mermaid.”

He is actually doubling down on mermaids. A quote from 2015…

“No, I don’t believe dinosaurs existed. Not even a little bit. I believe there is more of a chance you will find a mermaid than you will a dinosaur because we find different species in the water all the time.”

People, myself included, have been quick to laugh at Hayes but upon reflection, what if he’s right? We ARE finding different species in water all the time… or at least some of the time.

How do you think your life would change if they discovered mermaids were real? Would you still like swimming or would you be weirded out?:
I don’t get why people love the ideas of mermaids so much. Half woman, half fish? And that is enchanting to people?  I don’t get the appeal. If we’re going to fall for human/animal hybrids, why not romanticize the Anggitay or Centaurs for crissakes? I don’t see either of them on lunch boxes. No one’s making a Disney movie about centaurs or designing a Anggitay fitness class. But whatevs. I’m not taken with mermaids but finding out that they might exist wouldn’t deter me from swimming outdoors. The ocean is already chock full ‘o questionable looking creatures – the blob sculpin, anyone? I will just assume that mermaids and their male counterparts will dwell many levels deeper than I will ever venture

WINNER: Los Angeles Rams

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