The Intangibles: Week Nine – Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Kansas City Chiefs

Each week Ratty will ask Mole, an admitted football neophyte, to tell you who to put your money on based entirely on: team colors, team locations, who would win in a battle between the team names (i.e. could a Dolphin beat a Bear?) AND a bonus intangible. This week it’s the Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Kansas City Chiefs.

Black & Teal (JAX) vs. Red & White (KC):So, here’s my new technique for picking colors, I see which combo of colors my girl, Iris Apfel wears best and I go from there.

Black and Teal
Red and White

Winner: Black and Teal (and I WANT that bag)

Jaguar vs. Chief:  Let’s give it up for the Jaguars. Cougars plus a decade.

Lady Jaguar Doris

Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars

Jacksonville vs. Kansas City: I don’t know either of these cities and had a hard time choosing, so I used the Andy Gibb technique. Did Andy  ever play in either of these cities. And guess what? He played in Kansas City! Andy Gibb Kansas City ticket stubb

Winner: Kansas City Chiefs


This is hard to believe but the Jacksonville Jaguars mascot is called JAXSON DE VILLE and he is… well…










Please refresh this mascot for us! A new name, a new attitude… something. I would dearly love a picture of the new mascot too. That’d be nice.

Actually I LOVE his look. He’s like the drunk uncle of mascots. And his spots! Is it German Measles or syphilis. And is that an upside down Santa’s hat covering his crotch? Fantastic.
He’s your drunk uncle, spotty from god knows what kind of viral infection AND Bad Santa to boot? I bet that’s where he keeps the few tiny presents he’s gotten you for Christmas. You want your present? You know where it is.

Sorry, Rats. No makeover necessary. You don’t mess with perfection.

Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars


  1. Dear Ratty and Mole, I just don’t know shit about football. I had to go to games when I was little and it cured me for life. Please don’t think I don’t want to get your messages. My love to you, Blue Mama XXXXXXXXOOOOOOOO


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